crack smokers do not have a complete monopoly on being stupid.

[faceless_wonder]

this blog has a clearly crack-related focus. this makes a few stupid people who use drugs other than crack feel a little left out sometimes, and inspires them to do things that are so stupid that i will write about them anyway, despite the fact that there is no crack involved.

take one law student in connecticut, who was working an internship with the public defender's office. now, if you're a law student in connecticut, especially one who is interning in a job related to criminal law, a few things should pop out at you as rather obvious:

• marijuana is illegal in connecticut. it may be a stupid law, but it's in force, and the state has a right to enforce it until such point as it is overturned.
• drug dealing penalties are stiffer than drug possession penalties, and they will often charge you with drug dealing if you are carrying distribution equipment like scales and baggies along with your drugs.
• that box you have to put your bag through on the way into the public defender's office? that's a x-ray machine. and, that tv screen attached to that little box? that shows the guy sitting at the x-ray machine what's in your bag. and, for good measure, that shiny little badge on the guy sitting by the box with the tv screen on it? that means that he is a member of your local constabulary. i know synthesizing three little bits of information can be difficult sometimes, especially if you are high, but i will put it together for you: Officer Friendly can see what you are bringing into the public defender's office.

why must we go into such excruciating detail about such obvious things, especially in the context of discussing someone who should know better? i'm sure you can infer why by now, but i'll say it anyway: because two days ago, a law student interning for a public defender's office in connecticut was busted for having three baggies of weed, a marijuana grinder, and a digital scale in his bag.

we'll leave aside the fact that this guy lacks the analytical skills to be a successful lawyer. he lacks the minimal analytical skills necessary to be a successful pot smoker. just as the mantra of the successful crack smoker is hide your crack, the mantra of the successful pothead ought to be hide your pot. hiding your pot means leaving it at home. hiding your pot, if you're a pot dealer, means leaving your drug dealing paraphernalia at home and operating your enterprise covertly. hiding your pot does not mean packaging it with your drug dealing paraphernalia, going to the courthouse, and giving your package of tools-of-the-trade to a police officer.

in that case, there is a pretty good shot that you'll be going back to the public defender's office, but you won't be working there this time.

Comments

[mrvoid.livejournal.com]

this makes a few stupid people who use drugs other than crack feel a little left out sometimes, and inspires them to do things that are so stupid that i will write about them anyway, despite the fact that there is no crack involved.

For some reason, including other drugs makes me think of the Bill Hicks bit, where he's complaining that you never see positive drug stories on the news.

"Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one conscious experiencing itself, subjectively. There is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Now here's Tom with the weather."

[faceless-wonder.livejournal.com]

hahaha...i've never heard that bit, but that's really funny. :D

i'm going to mainly stick to crack, of course, but some stories are just so WTF that i can't resist them. as for the good drug stories, there's a reason i probably won't talk about them much--i don't find them quite as funny as the boneheaded ones. :D

[mrvoid.livejournal.com]

i've never heard that bit, but that's really funny.

I think Phil has the whole act on DVD. I'm not sure... I know he has a trio of routines, and I think that bit's on one of them.

[proto-zombie.livejournal.com]

At least he'll know people in prison.

[faceless-wonder.livejournal.com]

yes. yes he will.

and, if they don't clown on him nonstop, i will be disappointed.