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faceless_wonderi start my job a week from monday.
this scares me. i've had summer jobs, i've had school-term jobs, i've even had full-time jobs for a short term, during my year off between college and law school. however, i've never had a full-time, indefinite-term job that was actually part of a career trajectory. my job that i'm starting a week from monday, of course, is the first real job of my legal career.
even though i worked there for twelve weeks last summer, and know a lot of the people there, i'm still really scared. i don't know if i'll like it. i don't know exactly what projects i'm going to be on, or exactly which attorneys i'm going to be working most closely with. i don't know if i'll be any good at what i'm doing. i know the summer associate experience is nothing actually like the experience of being a real associate, so i still feel like i'm going into this job blind.
furthermore...i've had a ton of free time over the years being a student, and even more free time over the last month or so. i've had the freedom to drop everything and skip town when i've wanted to. i've had the freedom to sleep until noon at will, and ditch class if i felt like it. i'm not excited about giving so much freedom up. i'm going to be working a lot of hours; that is the lot of the junior associate. i can't let work become my entire life; that's not the kind of person i am. i will make room to maintain a social life and a personal life outside of work. however, i know it is going to be an uphill battle.
it still seems completely surreal that i start work so soon. i keep telling myself that i still have time off...but these last few days, it has been creeping up on me, unavoidable.
this scares me. i've had summer jobs, i've had school-term jobs, i've even had full-time jobs for a short term, during my year off between college and law school. however, i've never had a full-time, indefinite-term job that was actually part of a career trajectory. my job that i'm starting a week from monday, of course, is the first real job of my legal career.
even though i worked there for twelve weeks last summer, and know a lot of the people there, i'm still really scared. i don't know if i'll like it. i don't know exactly what projects i'm going to be on, or exactly which attorneys i'm going to be working most closely with. i don't know if i'll be any good at what i'm doing. i know the summer associate experience is nothing actually like the experience of being a real associate, so i still feel like i'm going into this job blind.
furthermore...i've had a ton of free time over the years being a student, and even more free time over the last month or so. i've had the freedom to drop everything and skip town when i've wanted to. i've had the freedom to sleep until noon at will, and ditch class if i felt like it. i'm not excited about giving so much freedom up. i'm going to be working a lot of hours; that is the lot of the junior associate. i can't let work become my entire life; that's not the kind of person i am. i will make room to maintain a social life and a personal life outside of work. however, i know it is going to be an uphill battle.
it still seems completely surreal that i start work so soon. i keep telling myself that i still have time off...but these last few days, it has been creeping up on me, unavoidable.
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no subject
Date: 2008-08-28 03:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-28 03:44 pm (UTC)i guess it helps me a bit, psychologically, that i have no plans of making my *entire* career in firm life. but, especially with the job market as bad as it is right now, i'm freaked out, i need to keep [and hopefully like] this job long enough to pay off the eighty bazillion dollars i took out to go to school in the first place.
anyway...good luck! when do you start?
no subject
Date: 2008-08-28 05:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-28 05:47 pm (UTC)