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faceless_wonderyou know things are going to get really funny when there's a letter exchange involving contraband speedos in guantanamo.
it's bizarre...a detainee there was caught with Under Armour briefs, as well as a name-brand Speedo. (why someone would risk getting caught with contraband to wear a SPEEDO is anyone's guess. men look uniformly ridiculous in speedos.) in response to this, a member of the JAG corps sent the detainee's lawyer a letter, basically accusing him of assisting sneaking the contraband briefs into the facility.
that letter is amusing for how seriously it takes Under Armour and Speedos as a security breach.
the lawyer's response is classic for how pointedly it skewers the JAG guy for flipping out about some underwear. it goes into a long, mock-serious discussion of reasons that the lawyers could not have smuggled it in, as well as ways the underwear could have possibly gotten in--complete with citations.
however, the most fabulous part of the letter is the section about Speedos, which i reproduce here in its entirety:
On the issue of Speedo swimming trunks, my research really does not help very much. I cannot imagine who would want to give my client Speedos, or why. Mr. Aamer is hardly in a position to go swimming, since the only available water is the toilet in his cell.
I should say that your letter brought to mind a sign in the changing room of a local swimming pool, which showed someone diving into a lavatory, with the caption, "We don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in our pool." I presume that nobody thinks Mr. Aamer wears Speedos while paddling in his privy.
so many extremely wrong, extremely funny mental images there.
it's bizarre...a detainee there was caught with Under Armour briefs, as well as a name-brand Speedo. (why someone would risk getting caught with contraband to wear a SPEEDO is anyone's guess. men look uniformly ridiculous in speedos.) in response to this, a member of the JAG corps sent the detainee's lawyer a letter, basically accusing him of assisting sneaking the contraband briefs into the facility.
that letter is amusing for how seriously it takes Under Armour and Speedos as a security breach.
the lawyer's response is classic for how pointedly it skewers the JAG guy for flipping out about some underwear. it goes into a long, mock-serious discussion of reasons that the lawyers could not have smuggled it in, as well as ways the underwear could have possibly gotten in--complete with citations.
however, the most fabulous part of the letter is the section about Speedos, which i reproduce here in its entirety:
On the issue of Speedo swimming trunks, my research really does not help very much. I cannot imagine who would want to give my client Speedos, or why. Mr. Aamer is hardly in a position to go swimming, since the only available water is the toilet in his cell.
I should say that your letter brought to mind a sign in the changing room of a local swimming pool, which showed someone diving into a lavatory, with the caption, "We don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in our pool." I presume that nobody thinks Mr. Aamer wears Speedos while paddling in his privy.
so many extremely wrong, extremely funny mental images there.
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Date: 2007-10-04 01:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-04 01:49 pm (UTC)the law would be a far more amusing field if all legal briefs were like this.