Sep. 1st, 2007
i combed the depths of teh intarwebs...and i found some shiny new documents from everyone's favourite prison Sue-Perman, jonathan lee riches ©. most of them are not complaints...because not only does he file hilarious complaints, but also hilarious motions and appeals.
- "defendant suffocated me with a chips ahoy bag"
- "the great lakes rose up to tsunami me"
- "former identity theft leader of the republic of HACKISTAN" (in which our hero is under the impression that you can appeal multiple cases in multiple districts, all in the western district of kentucky.)
- "i write this motion wrapped around the constitution. my july 2007 copy of the idaho observer in my right hand, my left hand raised high like the statue of liberty"
- this motion contains barry bonds' footprint. enough said.
- ...and now his own lawsuits are conspiring against him.
- meet "the tigerwoods of cyberhood!"
- michael vick is aping gino romano on the chatlines!
- "michael vick threw snowballs at plaintiff's car"
- "defendants forced me to sleep in tepees"
- as far back as 1900, the CIA had a weathermaking machine that could create hurricanes.