your daily dumbass

i'm reading a computer fraud case, creative computing v. getloaded.com, 386 F.3d 930 (9th Cir. 2004). (no, the fact that the company is called "getloaded.com" isn't the funny part, although i also find that hilarious.) creative sued getloaded.com for hacking into its trucking load exchange website, truckstop.com, and stealing lists of customers.

let's just say...one of the getloaded.com employees was either really stupid, or loaded on something other than trucking cargo. the following excerpt from the case says it all:

"Creative uncovered a handwritten Getloaded employee's to-do list that included 'mimic truckstop.com.'"

note to plagiarizers and other information thieves: you probably shouldn't write that down on your to-do list.

***

and then, later in the case, the court discusses getloaded.com's argument that if creative had installed a patch earlier, they could not have hacked into the system. in response, judge kleinfeld gives getloaded.com one of the more amusing judicial smackdowns i've seen in a long time:

"Getloaded's argument that truckstop.com should have prevented some of the harm by installing the patch is analogous to a thief arguing that 'I would not have been able to steal your television if you had installed deadbolts instead of that silly lock I could open with a credit card.'"

checkers

it took hundreds of computers eighteen years to figure it out...but apparently, scientists have solved the game of checkers. apparently, there *is* a perfect checkers strategy, and if both players know it, the game will *always* be a draw. somehow, gut-instinct-wise, that makes sense...but it's neat to know that scientists figured it out for sure.

and...you can play against the perfect computer here.

spam! spam! beautiful spam!

alright...i got sick of reading cases, and decided to do something i haven't done in a very long time--look through my spam blocker. my goodness. there are some really amusing headlines in my spam. don't get me wrong--i don't want spam in my inbox, and i'm very glad the emails are diverted to my spam blocker. but...some of the email subject lines just make me giggle: 

• She'll hurt so good with MegaDik
• Superherogirl: learn how to be a real man!  (note: superherogirl is my google/gmail handle.)
• Get mega-sized with MegaDik
• FW: Even when we do get the psychos...  (i had no idea what the actual content of THAT email could be...turns out, they were trying to sell me vibrating cock rings.)
• Stretch her out with MegaDik
• Let the big dick fairy bless you  (okay, okay, i get it.  my dick is too small.  clearly i need to go to Early To Bed and buy a bigger packer, because the spammers don't think my current one is cutting it.)
• to Superherogirl--WHORES
• There is no need to parade your problems (an ad for an online pharmacy...WTF?)
• What is the dosage guideline for Wondercum?
• Free Fathers Rights Course--Child Support, Custody, Visitation (it was addressed "Dear Father"...ummm, no.  really, i just put this one up there not because it was funny, but because foofy_attorney would appreciate the fact that the Fathers' Rights people have resorted to such lowbrow tactics as spam.)
• As nonagenarian at usurer (no idea what they're trying to sell me, even after reading the email.  there was a sketchy file attached to it, though.  i wasn't gonna download that.)

alright, that's enough stupid spamusement for the day.  back to work.  :)