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(warning: whiny, cryptic rant ahead.)
i've been feeling really weird, really off, these last few days. i know in my head what i want and need to get done, but nothing's coming. i'm going through a time of banging my head against a wall repeatedly. there's no real reason why i can't get past that wall...i just can't.
maybe i'm scared of change. maybe i'm scared to fail. maybe i've convinced myself so well that anything i could possibly do would be a disappointment that some switch has flipped in my brain to tell myself that it's better not to even try, and therefore let people continue to think i might be able to do something that i'm convinced there's no way i'll actually be able to wrap my head around.
i've been feeling really weird, really off, these last few days. i know in my head what i want and need to get done, but nothing's coming. i'm going through a time of banging my head against a wall repeatedly. there's no real reason why i can't get past that wall...i just can't.
maybe i'm scared of change. maybe i'm scared to fail. maybe i've convinced myself so well that anything i could possibly do would be a disappointment that some switch has flipped in my brain to tell myself that it's better not to even try, and therefore let people continue to think i might be able to do something that i'm convinced there's no way i'll actually be able to wrap my head around.
