look, i twittered today!

• 08:49 cactus. #
• 09:58 @rbcp cactus! #
• 15:15 ROGUECLOWN SMASH #
• 16:44 @DragonJosh can you breathe some fire into my office building as you fly by? that could be entertaining. #
• 19:56 i'll be lucky to leave work by midnight. wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. #
• 20:00 @skipp luckily, yes. :-) we get to order dinner for free if we have to stay late, so i am currently munching on tasty tamales. #
• 20:10 unfuckingbelievable. my office lights have decided NOT TO WORK. #
• 20:40 @kunt not when you are trying to read hundreds of pages of case law. #
• 21:37 @kunt yes. actual paper. spread all over my desk...or, now that my light doesn't work, spread all over a conference room. #
• 23:00 11pm. still at the office. yes, life still sucks. #
• 01:58 2am. finally leaving the office. be back in seven hours. yay? #

don't blame me, blame loudtwitter.

i'm shooting out your lights

dear office lights,

we've established that you are far too bright. i get a lot of sunlight in through my window, so i don't like to have you any more than halfway on. even if i am at work after dark, i almost never turn you all the way on, since your harsh fluorescence is a little overbearing to my light-sensitive eyes.

however, i need you to function if i am in the office after dark. it was really annoying last night around 8:30 when you decided to stop working. i waved my hand in front of the motion sensor to no avail. i pushed the manual light buttons, which didn't turn you back on either. finally, since i still had many hours of work to do, i grabbed my laptop and my papers, relocated to a conference room, and went back to work. once or twice i went back to my office to get things, and you didn't light up no matter how hard i tried. i thought of putting in a service request to get you fixed, but since i did not leave the office until 2 o'clock in the morning, i decided i would put the service request off for a few hours while i went home and slept.

then, the most remarkable thing happened. i arrived at work this morning around 8:30, and you decided to start working again. you weren't even subtle about it, either...you flipped all the way on as soon as i walked into the office. i had to manually dim you back to half strength.

this leads me to wonder, office lights, if you smoke crack in your spare time. i can't think of any other reason why you would decide to stop working when it was i needed you, and decide to work like a charm when you are redundant.

no love,
the persecuted crack smoker

Pirates Hyjacked Robbed and Stole Everything...and still managed to go bankrupt.

i encountered the greatest case name ever yesterday:

Pirates Hyjacked Robbed and Stole Everything, Inc. v.
State Fair Park Exposition Center, 318 B.R. 502 (Bankr. W.D.Wis. 2004).

now, when you read that, what do you think is going on? i don't know about you, but after reading the caption i immediately assumed that the contract with the convention center was for some kind of geeky convention, maybe cosplay or LARPing. seriously, what other kinds of events would a company called Pirates Hyjacked Robbed and Stole Everything run?

well, i was completely wrong. the company was in the business of running trade shows. that's right, trade shows! sadly, they were not even trade shows for cool things like cannons, peg legs, rum, and pirate hats. they ran things like the "milwaukee home and garden show" and the "great midwest log home and timber frame show". this, of course, leaves me rather unsurprised that the company declared bankruptcy. who would hire a company called Pirates Hyjacked Robbed and Stole Everything, Inc. to run a SRS BSNS >:-[ trade show? on the other hand, it's equally hard to understand someone who wanted to name their business something as whimisical as Pirates Hyjacked Robbed and Stole Everything, Inc. running something as boring and mundane as trade shows.

however...if this law thing doesn't work out, maybe i'll buy the rights to that name from the bankrupt entity and use it for my company. i don't yet know what my company would do, but it would definitely involve cooler stuff than home, garden, and timber frame shows.

SNUGGIE. PUB. CRAWL.

plus



equals

who is going to go on the snuggie pub crawl with me?????