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Aug. 19th, 2008
jealousy, or the lack thereof
Aug. 19th, 2008 04:12 pmi was at lunch today with a friend of mine, and something he said took me aback...and then made me think about how lucky i've been.
we were eating lunch, and he asked me my plans for the rest of the day. i told him i was going to tool around manhattan a while longer, and be back on long island by the time my boyfriend got back from work. he looked at me and asked, "does he know we're meeting up? is he okay with it?"
at first i was taken aback. of course he knew what i was up to today, and of course he's okay with it. it's my free time, and i can do whatever i want. i tell him because i like to tell him...it's nice for him to know fun things i'm up to, just like i like to know interesting or exciting things he does.
being posed such a question, and not being used to having such a question be posed, made me see how fortunate i've been in one aspect of my relationships. i've never had to deal with The Jealous Significant Other. as many random things as may have gone wrong in my past relationships, i've never had to deal with a significant other who got jealous or snippy or annoyed when i hung out with my friends. they trusted me enough to know that time spent with my friends, of whatever gender they may be, was just that. it wasn't an invitation to cheat, and it wasn't something to raise suspicion. i've always believed it's normal, healthy, and necessary to spend quality time with friends, whether i'm in a romantic relationship or not...they're different kinds of interactions, and being in a romantic relationship does nothing to remove or replace the need to hang out with friends.
it doesn't even cross my mind to think that anyone i'm dating would not respect that need, and i need to count myself lucky that i've never been in a situation where that's a concern.
we were eating lunch, and he asked me my plans for the rest of the day. i told him i was going to tool around manhattan a while longer, and be back on long island by the time my boyfriend got back from work. he looked at me and asked, "does he know we're meeting up? is he okay with it?"
at first i was taken aback. of course he knew what i was up to today, and of course he's okay with it. it's my free time, and i can do whatever i want. i tell him because i like to tell him...it's nice for him to know fun things i'm up to, just like i like to know interesting or exciting things he does.
being posed such a question, and not being used to having such a question be posed, made me see how fortunate i've been in one aspect of my relationships. i've never had to deal with The Jealous Significant Other. as many random things as may have gone wrong in my past relationships, i've never had to deal with a significant other who got jealous or snippy or annoyed when i hung out with my friends. they trusted me enough to know that time spent with my friends, of whatever gender they may be, was just that. it wasn't an invitation to cheat, and it wasn't something to raise suspicion. i've always believed it's normal, healthy, and necessary to spend quality time with friends, whether i'm in a romantic relationship or not...they're different kinds of interactions, and being in a romantic relationship does nothing to remove or replace the need to hang out with friends.
it doesn't even cross my mind to think that anyone i'm dating would not respect that need, and i need to count myself lucky that i've never been in a situation where that's a concern.
