failing at life

sigh.

any impulses of productivity that i felt the first week or two of class have all dissipated. i know i'm less motivated than i was my last semester of high school. college? that, i don't know. i was pretty checked out my entire last two years of college, checked out of everything that didn't involve mock trial or going to parties. i think that's why i feel less motivated now than i did then. at least i had one thing that consumed my life. now, i've got one thing that i'm doing that i absolutely love...the choir. but, it doesn't take over my life in the same way that mock trial did. it meets twice a week for two hours, and doesn't involve a large amount of outside work or preparation like mock trial did.

i wonder if i'd have it in my to be involved in anything that took a lot of time. i'm sure it's lurking somewhere...last spring between criminal justice clinic and trial team, i hardly had a free moment to eat, sleep, or even breathe. now, i'm doing almost nothing. i don't care about my classes. i haven't read the environmental moot court problem yet. i spend far too much time vegging out in front of a computer or in front of a television. i don't even go out as much as i used to...which is probably good, because i was probably going out way too much last semester.

still...this apathy and lethargy are making me feel really tired. i have no right to feel tired at all, because i'm not actually doing anything. but...i'm just tired, and i don't know what to do about it.

euphemisms gone wild.

first they called them "used cars."

that sounded too sketchy, so people started calling them "pre-owned cars." i thought that was about as euphemistic as it would get in describing used cars.

as usual, i'm proven wrong.

plaza automotive ran an ad tonight referring to their cars as "preloved cars." i'm sure it's just some moronic valentine's day tie-in. whether it is, or they have decided to permanently refer to their used cars as "preloved cars", i want to know what ad agency or focus group convinced them that this was a good idea...so i can smack them.

book meme

a meme, borrowed from the mad jurist:

Instructions:
1. Grab the nearest book (that is at least 123 pages long).
2. Open to p. 123.
3. Go down to the 5th sentence.
4. Type in the following 3 sentences.
5. Tag five people.

***

the nearest book: The Gum Thief by Douglas Coupland:

***

Okay, then, Bethany, what were your images?

Thank you, interior monologue. I thought that when I was an adult I'd somehow be a bit more connected to life and death--that when I went to bed at night, after drinking a cup of chilled blood with my husband, Johnny Depp, I would look back on a day filled with confessions and accidents and affairs and and large amounts of money travelling in all directions.

***

my usual non-tagging policy is in effect...if you are amused by the meme, go ahead and do it. if not, ignore it.

*hugs*

not funny, like most of the xkcd comics i post...but i love it anyway. it's a lesson i am finally starting to learn...but i can't say i'm there yet, and i didn't even start to get the hint until far later than i should have.