Nov. 6th, 2007

faceless_wonder: posing with my blue hair, in an NYC subway station. (Default)
i had both my preliminary rounds of moot court, and they went as well as i could have expected, given the circumstances. everything was stacked against me first round, and everything was stacked for me in the second round.

first round was the on-brief argument. i always prefer arguing the side i didn't write my brief on, because i don't have to worry about whether my oral argument is consistent with the brief that i wrote. first round we were the petitioner. i far prefer being the respondent to the petitioner, because the petitioner speaks first and doesn't get a whole lot of time to rebut other arguments. i only had the five minutes at the end to give a rebuttal; my first eleven or twelve minutes were just making my affirmative argument about the sentencing reform act. as the respondent, on the other hand, the entire speech can be one big rebuttal. finally, first round we had a very cold bench. i had two or three questions from the bench during my eleven or twelve minute constructive, and none whatsoever during my five-minute rebuttal. it's a lot more fun when the judge asks questions, since otherwise i have to come up with more and more things to talk about, and it's really easy to get bogged down in the minutiae to fill the time and space.

i did as well as i could under the circumstances, though. i never blanked out, i didn't start reading from the brief, and i didn't get bogged down in anything too arcane.

second round, however, was the most fun i've ever had arguing a moot court round. we were the respondent, and off-brief, so i got to bring out my crazy argument that i mentioned yesterday, the abuse of discretion argument. the more i thought about it during the round, the more overarching it got--i ran a case that basically alleged that the statute the petitioners thought applied didn't apply at all, and therefore the discretion that judges have always had to run sentences consecutively or concurrently to a yet-to-be-imposed state sentence was not affected.1 i was getting grilled by one of the judges--it was a really hot bench. i spent more time answering questions of his than i did giving my outlined speech. that was fine with me, though. that was fun. before the round i laughed when i gave the timekeeper my time--my partner wanted eleven minutes, so i took nineteen minutes and cracked that i wouldn't use it all, of course. it turns out i used all of it, and probably could have kept going for another ten minutes.

i was really curious to see what the other team would say on rebuttal to my bizarre case, but that didn't happen. they used all thirty minutes in their constructives, and didn't leave enough time to rebut me. sigh.

we'll see if we break. i really hope we do, because it will make me very sad if yesterday is the only day i get to speak about the problem.

***
1 the traditional case is that the statute specifically affirms judges having that discretion in the case of a yet-to-be-imposed. but, that case admits that it's a question of statutory interpretation, and a question of whether the discretion exists. i didn't want to run that case, because then it would be completely nonsensical for me to argue that abuse of discretion is the correct standard of review. i think that case is just plain wrong, but it's moot court. moot court is a game, and it's a less fun game if i can't run bizarre off-brief cases and fight to the death to defend them.
faceless_wonder: posing with my blue hair, in an NYC subway station. (Default)
the stuff on mcsweeney's ranges from amusing to side-splittingly hilarious. it features an understated yet demented brand of humour that makes me happy. i'm especially a fan of the lists; if you're not familiar with them, you should check them out because they're such wacky fun.

something posted on there today was pure comic genius:

A Robot Performs Standup Comedy to a Lackluster Response
by Michael Drucker


- - - -

Hello, world!

What level is everyone's excitement currently at?

I'm sorry. I cannot hear you. Would you please repeat your excitement, preferably at a louder volume? Thank you. I am also excited.

Have you ever noticed the difference between white robots and black robots? White robots are all 1001001, but black robots are all 0110110. Do you agree?

You have said that you do not agree.

Dating between robots can also be difficult. I will often say, "Please let me watch the local sporting event." But she will just as often say, "I want to spend time together!" The metaphor is that male robots and female robots speak different languages. Do you agree?

You have said that you do not agree.

Because you do not agree, I will now perform improvised crowd work. Where is everyone from?

I'm sorry; I did not hear your response. Could you please repeat that?

You said you were from "Go Fuck Yourself." Is this correct?

You have collectively said, "Yes."

I am not familiar with Go Fuck Yourself. The closest location I could find is Falkville, Alabama. Is this the location you mean?

You have collectively reassured me that you are from Go Fuck Yourself. Because I am not familiar with this location, I cannot speak humorously on its merits and flaws.

Do you have factories in Go Fuck Yourself? I was made in a factory. The funny setup is that robots make new robots. You, as a human, are probably thinking, "I would love to spend all day making more humans because the sexual experience is pleasurable to my flesh." However, the point of irony is that robots make new robots—but we do not have sex. We use lasers and molten metal. Am I right?

I assume that this man understands my point of view.

I am being shown the light, a symbol that tells me to politely end my comical discourse.

My name is RT-8500 and I will be here all millennium. Not that you will live that long. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. I am just kidding—although the facts I state are empirically true. Good night.
faceless_wonder: posing with my blue hair, in an NYC subway station. (Default)
i'm feeling like a guitar hero yet again. after a spectacular run at it, i've got five stars on all but three songs on the medium level of Guitar Hero 3: Knights of Cydonia (***), Raining Blood (***), and Number of the Beast (****). it was a little frustrating...on a ton of the songs i was two or three notes short of hitting all of them, but i couldn't seem to pull off just one full combo. my hands just like to go spastic during the middles of the songs.

i also tried starting a career on hard. i did the first level--and beat all the songs without failing out once! my left hand was very tired after doing that, but i'm heartened. i forced myself over my mental block against trying Guitar Hero 3 on hard, and was handsomely rewarded.

i'd be playing right now in these last couple minutes before the avenged sevenfold show, but my left wrist is still extremely angry at me. this game is going to give me carpal tunnel, but i really don't care. it's such a thrill to play.

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