morning news

i've been delinquent about linking the advice columns that i write for the school newspaper. but, i'm still writing them. a while ago, i had written columns about the benefits of being single, consderations a person needs to make before having sex, and coming out of the closet. i also had my newest column published today, suggesting that when you meet someone and get their number, you call them the next day to get everything out in the open.

also...i can't believe i missed this article, but there was also an article in student life about the debate i did almost a month ago against the british national debate team. i didn't write the article, but i am mentioned in it. i do find it amusing that they referred to us in the article as the "washington university debate team"...technically we were, in the context, but i had still never debated before doing that. the article is kind of short, but it has some nice sound bites from the debate that highlight most of the major arguments that were made.

the jonathan lee riches © chronicles

i had gone all week without justia news doing anything but posting the names of the lawsuits that jonathan lee riches © has filed. this defeats the whole purpose of justia as a place to actually read the filings. they have been posting the names of lawsuits, and they have been linking the documents written by the court, but they have not been posting the complaints themselves--which are almost always the only things worth reading. most of the court documents either order him to pay the filing fee or cite the stock language from caselaw that gives the court authority to dismiss fanciful lawsuits.

today, though, they finally threw me a bone, and posted a new lawsuit against brad pitt, angelina jolie, and their kids, accusing them of a plot to kidnap one kid from every country in the world.

the notable exception to the claim that the judges' documents are not worth reading is in re jonathan lee riches ©, a judicial order that prohibits him from filing any more lawsuits in the middle district of florida without payment of the statutory filing fee. the document takes such a serious tone in discussing mr. riches ©'s fanciful lawsuits. sometimes, though, the judge can't resist saying weird things. he refers to mr. riches ©'s litany of lawsuits as "a cross between Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start The Fire" and a Dr. Bronner's soap label, if Dr. Bronner had been a first-year law student with untreated paranoid schizophrenia."

although, i was reading some of the dr. bronner's soap labels, and they don't remind me of jonathan lee riches © quite as much as they remind me of gene ray, of time cube fame. the weird pseudo-religious ranting is very similar in both cases. compare, for example:

dr. bronner:

Absolute cleanliness is Godliness! Who else but God gave man Love that can spark mere dust to life! Poetry, uniting All-One! All brave! All life! Who else but God! "Listen Children Eternal Father Eternally One!

Einstein, 1939, after Nazis & Commies united, proposed spacebombs that destroy all, unless we finally teach the Moral ABC's the real Rabbi Hillel taught Jesus to unite all in All-One-God-Faith. As teach astronomers Abraham - Israel - Moses - Buddha - Hillel - Jesus - Spinoza - Paine - Sagan & Mohammed, inspired every 76 years, 6000 years by the Messenger of God's Law, the sign of the Messiah, Halley's Comet: "WE'RE ALL ONE OR NONE!" "THERE IS NO GOD BUT GOD!" "TEACH LOVE THY ENEMY!" "LISTEN CHILDREN ETERNAL FATHER ETERNALLY ONE!" Israel-Moses-Buddha-Jesus-Mohammed: ONE! ALL ONE!

gene ray:

We have a Major Problem, Creation is Cubic Opposites, NOT taught Evil ONEism. Seek Wisdom of Cubic Life Intelligence - or you die evil. Evil God Believers refuse to acknowledge 4 corner Days rotating simultaneously around 4 quadrant created Earth - in only 1 rotation, voiding the Oneism Evil 1 Day 1 God. You worship Satanic impostor guised by educators as 1 god.

No 1 God equals 4 - 24 hour Days Rotating Simultaneously within 1- 24 hour Rotation of 4 quadrant created Earth. Ignoring 4 Corner Earth Days will Destroy Evil Humanity. I am organizing Children to join "Cubic Army of 4 Days" to convert Evil 1 Day Adults to 4 Day mentality existence, to serve perpetual humanity.

there are two major differences, of course. bronner preaches one and ray preaches four-and-not-one. also, bronner never really references himself and thus makes his ideas sound like something higher than himself, whereas ray makes himself sound as high as his own ideas. other than those philosophical differences they sound strangely similar to each other in terms of their carried-away writing style, liberal use of capital letters, and oddly religious themes.

jonathan lee riches © strikes me as more of a fringe fiction writer, a storyteller. like billy joel in "we didn't start the fire", he references famous people and famous events, although unlike billy joel mr. riches © somewhat detaches the references from their grounding in reality. [that's probably where the comparison to dr. bronner comes in.] but, the detachment with reality is not complete. he betrays an almost encyclopedic knowledge of pop culture, as well as a grasp of major recent events in world affairs. he is far more likely to be a smart yet very bored man in prison than he is to be a man with a completely strange worldview, like dr. bronner or gene ray.

my kind of town...not.

i want to give taryn all the cookies and shinies she could ever hope for. she sent me this link to today's married to the sea comic, and it's perfect:



i'm so glad i'm leaving this town soon.