m.i.a.

my 8am class was supposed to start ten minutes ago. the professor is still not here.

there has been no email saying class has been cancelled.

if he overslept his 8am class, i'm going to crack up so much. never again will he be able to poke fun at me about missing the early morning class. :)

edit: not so much...turns out the professor had sent a "class cancelled" email, and somehow the wires got crossed and it never got out to the class. a secretary (but not his secretary--she was out too, and that was part of why the wires got crossed) came by at about 8:30 and told us class had been cancelled.

vh1 storytellers: jonathan lee riches ©.

who knew? jonathan lee riches © is an international diamond dealer...and a master storyteller. he tells such a compelling story about running into iron mike at a nightclub in cedar falls, iowa. (why he would claim to be clubbing in iowa, of all places, is beyond me...but it is rather amusing.)

this lawsuit contains what may be my all-time favourite passage in a jonathan lee riches © suit ever:

"Tyson heard the Michael Jackson i was listening to and screamed out 'who listens to this crap.' Mr. Tyson went in back of the jukebox, unplugged it, plugged it back in, then put coins in the machine and programmed it to play Culture Club's 'Do You Really Want To Hurt Me.'"

that's a priceless mental image...and, since it's jonathan lee riches ©, the story only gets weirder from there. this is actually very strange for him...instead of reciting strings of counts that have very little to do with each other, he instead tells one coherent, albeit strange and fictional, story about one defendant. looks like jonny sue-nami is expanding his repertoire!

***

somehow, that is not the only new lawsuit of his that was filed today. jonathan lee riches © also sued 50 cent today. that suit provided some interesting revelations. i learned that he starred in the karate kid--and pee wee's big adventure!

and, i really want to attend the jonathan lee riches © school of entertainment.

grrrrr.

i'm still waiting...waiting...waiting in limbo about trial team.

the people who were relegated to a second round tryout have been notified...but the people who are on outright or off outright have not been notified yet.

this makes no sense. if the middle people are known...it only makes sense that the top group and bottom group have been decided. so, someone knows whether i've made trial team or not--and i don't know!

this is frustrating.

how appealing!

apparently my earlier entry was incomplete...and two more shiny jonathan lee riches © documents hit the internet today.

• an appeal in the tiger woods case: golfer? lumberjack? or deranged identity thief? you make the call.
• an appeal in the george bush et al. case: so george bush, george ryan, and ferris bueller walk into a pagan dance in lake michigan...
  

really...i wouldn't post these if he weren't so much funnier than i could ever be. but, he is. i doubt these things will ever stop cracking me up.