too much.

i start school tomorrow. i just entered all of my reading for this coming week into my calendar.

SO MUCH READING.

why am i taking fifteen credits this semester? :(

wow, this dude is dumb.

setting off fireworks is fun, but some people are too stupid to do it, or to be anywhere near someone who is doing it.

someone was setting off fireworks where it was illegal to do so. a concerned citizen complains, the cops come, and the cops see a kid running into a house. the kid doesn't answer when the cops knock, so the cops get back in their car and stake out a block away.

the cops see a kid coming down the street. whether or not he was the right kid who set off the fireworks, he would definitely be the right kid to send to Stupid Court.¹

the cops pull him aside, and accuse him of setting off fireworks. this smarty-pants responds that he deals drugs, but doesn't set off fireworks.

way to go, kid. didn't anyone tell him not to talk to the cops, and to invoke the right to a lawyer? either way, a person probably should not helpfully inform the cops that they are a drug dealer, since drug dealing is usually a worse crime than setting off fireworks.² my goodness, i'd never think a persom would need a lawyer to tell them that, but apparently this kid was just too dumb to figure it out.

there's my helpful hint of the day. i know it's too late for that kid, but to all of my readers--you will be better off if you refrain from telling the cops that you enjoy peddling illegal narcotics in your spare time. :)

***
¹ sadly, mel and i haven't actually started Stupid Court yet. but, when we do...it's exactly these kinds of people who we shuld have on the show.
² you should also probably stop getting high on your own supply. congratulations--you have joined george allen ward on the list of crack smokers who are too dumb to take refuge here. i don't care if it's crack you are doing, or something else...either way, you should lay off of whatever drugs you are on, and stop being so stupid.

backstory

i posted a few days ago about my usernames here and on LJ, and i had a request to explain something else--why my blog was called "the last refuge of the persecuted crack smoker." i've been tardy in getting to the topic...but here i go.

first of all...even though i refer to myself as the persecuted crack smoker occasionally, i don't smoke crack. i've never tried crack. i have no interest in smoking crack. crack is wack.

but, the blog name is an amalgamation of two things:

• there's a liquor store in st. louis called dirt cheap. they have the greatest Bad Locally Produced Ads ever, including a guy dancing around in a chicken suit--the Dirt Cheap Chicken.¹ their tagline is "cheap! cheap! fun! fun!" (hence the tagline on the top of the blog page on blogger, and on my user profile on livejournal.) and, they refer to themselves as "the last refuge of the persecuted smoker."
• i like to joke around about crack. i like to tell people to stop smoking crack, and one night back in august of 2004, some friends and i started a thread on perjuries.com entitled "Stop Smoking Crack." sometimes friends have alleged that my body must naturally make crack, because i'm so consistently weird and crazy. i also like funny stories about stupid crack smokers.

my blog wasn't always called this. until the beginning of august, 2005, it was called "alone with all my wrongs"--a line from the song "letters" by stroke 9. but, i thought that title had become out of keeping with the actual material in my blog. it used to fit, really well--from summer 2003 until some point later. i realised by august 2005 that the name wasn't quite right. i was in a much better place in my life, i was moving to st. louis to start law school later that month, and i didn't quite think of myself as nearly the eternal screwup i thought i was in the summer of 2003.

the phrase "last refuge of the persecuted crack smoker" popped into my head one day when i was working at that awful library barcoding job and i was very, very bored. i was deciding between that and another name, "mississippi classroom"--a reference to "here's to the state of mississippi" by phil ochs. but, looking back, that would have been a misnomer for the same reasons that my old name was; according to phil ochs, "every single classroom is a factory of despair." and...my blog wasn't a factory of despair anymore.

i posted both potential names up here, and one of my friends egged me on that i should really be "the last refuge of the persecuted crack smoker"--because i could be described as "cheap! cheap! fun! fun!" i can't quite disagree...so that became the name of this little corner of the internet.


***
¹ this is what i'm referring to whenever i muse that if i fail out of law school, i will be the dirt cheap chicken. that's still my plan b, if something crazy happens--i do have relevant experience, after being my mascot in high school!