are you a table?

from The Best Fark Thread Ever, regarding the funniest stuff people have ever heard on dates:

Like one day, we were getting into to telling these really bad jokes, like...

"Hey, ask me if I'm a tree."
"Are you a tree?"
"No."

And we were sober, but finding them totally hysterical. So, mid-coitus, she's er.. umm, you know, on her knees bent over, and I had this sandwich in my hand (don't ask... it was dinner time) and so, I put the sandwich down on her back, and kept going...

So she says,
"Hey, ask me if I'm a table?"
"Are you a table?"
"No! Now get that farking sandwich off my back"

I laughed myself flaccid.

really, the guy gets a cookie. the girl gets two cookies. and, frankly, i think i'd do either of them, sight unseen, just for being awesome.

tell me i sold out, go ahead

crikey. i remember way too much from eighth grade history class. i don't know whether to be proud or ashamed.

North Carolinian 100%

 

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sleep? what?

this is my last sleep-in morning for at least a month and a half.

it's so weird getting king day off, since i never got king day off in college. in college, the only day we got off winter quarter was suicide prevention day--monday of sixth week, halfway through the quarter.

i'm glad we get the day off, even though i didn't sleep in as late as i had hoped to. i was up by nine. this was weird, because i didn't go to bed until about a quarter to four last night. i wasn't out until then...i was only out until about two. i didn't even intend to be out as late as i was, but it happened that way, as things often do when i don't have anything scheduled the next day. i spent most of the evening at the delmar lounge, and then ended up at nick's pub, a bar out on manchester that i had never been to before. it was a good little place, although i'd love to go sometime when it's a little less crowded and we can actually do things like pool and darts. i did get to play a little bit of lethal enforcers, though...i hadn't played that game in years. it's so early nineties. it's a great game.

anyway, i got home around two, and instead of being a reasonable human being and going straight to sleep, i decided to be stupid and go on the internet for almost two hours. i guess it's not that much of a big deal, right? i can nap this afternoon. i can go to bed early if i'm tired. i have a little shopping that i have to do today, but that's about it.

but, today's the last day i get to enjoy this strange "sleeping in" thing. it's the last day for a long time that i'll be able to do what i'm doing now--laze around at home past eight or nine in the morning. sleeping in? i'll miss you. you're always so good to me.

someone other than dubya loves him the google

people put some stupid stuff on wikipedia, but this one had me cackling due to its sheer absurdity. in the article about everyone's favourite Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Incompetent American Idol Singer, ace young, there's the following sentence:

"Young frequently uses the Internet and says he is "always using the search engines- Google or Yahoo!" and also iTunes."

i'm glad google has ace young's imprimatur. it's legit now, baby!

but, seriously. i want to find who cared enough about that fact to add it to the article. i want to find them, and tell them that they are stupid.

captain cook!

i went shopping today. i got some black pants, that i needed. i got a really cute shirt to wear for novak's idol on wednesday.

and then, i got something really, really shiny--a copy of mr. popper's penguins!! i hadn't read that book since i was a small child. it's one of the funniest books ever, and the pictures have all these cute little adelie penguins in them!

i'm giddy.