i miss amta.

judging mock trial rocks. i hadn't done it since spring break, and i got to judge the slu tournament this weekend. it really made me miss mock trial, though...i'm still so sad that there really doesn't seem to be a team that needs a coach here. sigh. oh well, hopefully when i move back to chicago, once law school is finally over, i'll be able to get back into coaching a team actively. i miss college mock trial a lot.

other than that...since my blog's been full enough of cryptic idiocy, i'll end this post here, for now. no use in posting stuff for the sake of confusing anyone, at least not today.

my nerves have never been so shot.

alright. i've been struggling for a week, and i found the right song lyrics for my mood. it came on random, on my computer, and it's official--i'm going back to this song, and it's going to be what keeps me sane. usually that song is either "back 2 good" by matchbox20 or (more recently) "paper wings" by rise against, but this one is so much more topical. and, when i'm looking for a fuzzy blanket, topical is key.

"enemy"
by eve 6

i took a ride to meet an enemy
october light shown bright through the windshield
right into my eyes where i was silent riding shotgun
chewing on some sugar free gum
parallel park and pay the meter
if i die before i leave tell her i'll never leave her
i am fine
just a little
broken up
ok my nerves have never been so shot

can't get this shit off my mind
i just want to be alright
so just tell me nothing's wrong
then get undressed and spend the night

the autumn sun burning logic in my brain
i'm asking why there is pleasure when there's pain
i'm here to pay for my mistakes in a humiliating manner
if there is a next time i'll cover up
i feel alone
i feel shaky and uncertain
a kind man shakes my hand and draws the curtain
in a word he saves my life
and then i exit out the enter door and smile

can't get this shit off my mind
i just want to be alright
so just tell me nothing's wrong
then get undressed and spend the night

i took a ride to meet an enemy
i faced a fear of mine and shivered but didn't blink
i took a ride to meet an enemy to end all the madness
and now i know that i'll be fine
i am fine
i am fine

can't get this shit off my mind
i just want to be alright
so just tell me nothing's wrong
then get undressed and spend the night

just want to be fine