the shurt him the doar in face.

unintentional hilarity, thy name is english as she is spoke.

basicially, some portuguese guy who didn't know a whole lot of french, and didn't know a whole lot of english, got a bright idea in 1855. he noticed that there wasn't a portuguese to english phrase book. so, he took a portuguese to french phrase book and translated it to english, with the help of a french-english dictionary.

the entire thing is hilarious. some of the highlights include:

• under food items: "some wigs."
• under familiar phrases:
  
• "this girl have a beauty edge."
• "i dead myself in envy to see her."
• "dress my horse."

and then, there are familiar dialogues. they're long...and completely rife with muddled phrases. most of them are too long to post here (you're going to have to click the link and read the book, i won't spoil it...especially the fishing dialogue!), but here's a teaser:

• We have sung, danced, laugh and played.
• What game?
• To the picket.
• Whom I am sorry do not have know it!
• Who have prevailed upon?
• I had gained ten lewis.

gained ten lewis? what? i can't fathom how they got that out of any sort of french-english dictionary, but okay...all i know is that i think i want to stay away from any game where i can score a lewis, much less ten lewis.

to top it all off, there's a section of the book called idiotisms and proverbs. (their original section title, not mine. i promise.) and, true to its promise, most of them are extremely idiotic:

• "its are some blu stories."
• "nothing some money, nothing of swiss."
• "a horse baared don't look him the tooth."

this is only a small fraction of the ridiculousness of english as she is spoke. i can't believe i hadn't found this gem of a book any sooner.

do you like puppies?

laura, who i went to high school with, had the most amusing post on her blog today. it was a couple of political ads from maryland, from the senate campaign...and i'm posting the videos here because the original ad is so pandering it's funny, and the reply is just genius.

(for the record, this steele guy is a republican, currently the lieutenant governor of maryland, and according to laura is hiding his republican affiliation as much as he can, in order to try and get black and inner city votes. his democratic opponent, currently a congressman, is white.)

the original ad: "real ideas for change"

the democratic party's reply: issues? steele didn't say anything about "issues"!

i'm amused. i wish we had political ads that funny in missouri.