(no subject)

i've got a one-way ticket to failing out of school.

my paper? not done. hardly even started. i tried to last night, and i fell apart.

it was due this morning.

i promised i'd have it in by tomorrow morning, but still, the closer my brain wanders to it, the more i just want to cry.

i should suck it up, do the honourable thing, and withdraw from law school. anyone have a use for a sad streetwalker? a bookend? a bump on a log? i may just fit the bill.

maybe i should change my name to adalia.

"adalia"
by madina lake

she wraps her tragic moments tightly around her neck
then she hangs herself with them as i try to disconnect
'cause she wants to choke on her life again
breathing it in like a deadly poison

she cries cuz she's lost
and she doesn't even know what she wants
her eyes go cold
and she begs the world to just let her go

she lives and breathes in a world that brought her to her knees
and now i'm addicted to her 'cause that girl is just like me
and i'm gonna choke on her life again
i'm breathing it in like a deadly poison
'cause i just want to get through to her
before her last breath

she cries 'cause she's lost
and she doesn't even know what she wants
her eyes go cold
and she begs the world to just let her go

she cries 'cause she's lost
and she doesn't even know what she wants
and she hides all alone inside the pain that she wont let go
watching her life pass her by
watching it all through her watering eyes
but i'll be chasing dragonflies from her darkest skies until the day she dies

(no subject)

life: a million.

me: zero.

tomorrow: marching to registrar's office, quitting law school, finding a refrigerator box, and moving in.

i can't think, i can't write, i can't do, i can't be.

i just want to say goodbye.

(no subject)

i ditched all my classes today, and i've still gotten so little done. i need to get this paper written, but...it's just not happening.

i've been working on it since noon, and i'm still not going to sleep tonight.

it's just a draft, late and probably not worth full points because of it, and i'm still not going to sleep tonight.

i'm going to be up all night writing this paper, still not done, still not done, still not done, still not done, still not done, still not done, still not done, still not done.

and then get the hell out of dodge.

(no subject)

i've been completely useless, and stuck at about five pages, for the last six hours.

this thing is never, ever going to get done.

i lose, i quit, it's over. the open brief has won...and i don't even have the badge of honour of saying that i was conquered by the final assignment, but rather the dinky old draft.

i can't even do a draft.

i can't do anything anymore.