I completely agree with you regarding the whole vulnerability thing. However, I think a lot of what used to be defined as chivalry is more of, say, gender-neutral common courtesy. I don't get offended if a guy opens a door for me or offers me his jacket or his chair. I don't particularly care for struggling with a door (esp. if I'm carrying a lot of stuff, being cold, or standing up when I'd rather sit down. Of course, if a guy opens a door for me and then proceeds to grab my ass and say "YOU WEAK, VULNERABLE WOMAN", well, then that's a whole other story.
That said, I tend to open doors for people (male and female) rather than let the door slam in their faces. If I'm wearing a jacket that appears to be reasonably unisex, and a guy complains about being cold, I'll offer it to him. (Or even if I'm with a female friend who complains about being cold - of course the unisex thing doesn't apply there.) I'll get up and offer my seat on a bus to an old person or someone with a little kid or crutches or whatever. I guess I'm of the opinion that if we make typically chivalrous gestures more gender-neutral, then the whole insidious vulnerability issue is more or less negated.
That was really long. Sorry to clog up your comments page.
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That said, I tend to open doors for people (male and female) rather than let the door slam in their faces. If I'm wearing a jacket that appears to be reasonably unisex, and a guy complains about being cold, I'll offer it to him. (Or even if I'm with a female friend who complains about being cold - of course the unisex thing doesn't apply there.) I'll get up and offer my seat on a bus to an old person or someone with a little kid or crutches or whatever. I guess I'm of the opinion that if we make typically chivalrous gestures more gender-neutral, then the whole insidious vulnerability issue is more or less negated.
That was really long. Sorry to clog up your comments page.