*rant*

Apr. 2nd, 2011 01:40 am
faceless_wonder: a guy with a hat on his bum, with a circle around it and line through it. (asshat)
oh, internet misogyny, how i love you.

and by love you, i mean i think you're pretty obnoxious.

but, i'm resigned to it, since calling misogynists on the internet out on it usually ends up being interpreted as troll bait.
faceless_wonder: posing with my blue hair, in an NYC subway station. (emo)
yesterday marks two years since my last day ever working as an attorney.

i knew then that it was the best possible thing that could have happened...i was not happy there, i was already secretly laying the foundation for making my exit, and getting laid off (as opposed to leaving on my own) gave me the one thing for which i was planning to stay in that job for a few more months: enough money to confidently face the near-certainty of a prolonged period of unemployment.

when i was laid off, i hadn't decided for sure whether i would be working as an attorney again. i knew i wouldn't be returning to the large law firm environment...it works for some, but it had become painfully obvious that it wasn't my thing. my heart was already leaning toward forsaking law entirely and figuring out some computer-related career path; a few weeks before i was laid off, i remember spending an entire day on the couch, on the verge of tears, cursing my job and looking up computer science graduate programs as a way out. however, my head wasn't quite so sure yet...some of it was fear of the unknown, some of it was was some lingering sense of obligation to follow through with my degrees, and some of it was not wanting to admit to the world that my career path up until then had been a long, stressful, and expensive path to a depressing dead end.

all i knew was...when it happened, i felt free. i wasn't sure what was next, but at that point, it didn't matter. i'd be able to figure out on my own time where "next" was, without the stress of spending forty or more hours a week in a place where i never quite fit.

two years later, things are much better. i get to play with servers for a living, and i'm learning a lot. as much as i did to shore up my computer skills in the fourteen months between when i was laid off from the law firm and when i started my current job, i've learned so much more--and gained far more real-world context for my computer knowledge--in my job. i like my co-workers, and feel like i belong at my company in a way that i don't think i've ever felt with any job i've had up to date. i've been there for ten months now, which is longer than i spent practicing law.

my life isn't perfect by any means. i still have my freak-outs. i frequently stress out about how little i feel like i know about computers compared to how much i want to know, and compared to how much my friends know. i even more often get bent out of shape about what a terrible decision going to law school was; i regret it every day, and can't believe how naive i was, thinking i'd be happy as an attorney. given my amazing talent for seeing the worst in myself, i doubt either of these stresses will ever subside, no matter how far i make it in my new career.

still, the fact remains that i'm in a much more satisfying place than i was when i woke up on March 31, 2009.
faceless_wonder: a bag of green crack (crack)
if News Crack Smokers Can Use has a mantra, it's this: Hide Your Crack! if you keep your crack in a place where other people can easily find it, someone is going to find it. and, when someone finds it, at least one of two things will happen: they will steal it, or they will trace it to you and have you busted for being a crack smoker. therefore, it is key that you keep your crack in a place where you -- and only you -- have access to it.

secondly, if you are a crack smoker, it is a bad idea to also be a crack dealer. first of all, both selling and smoking crack would make it far too tempting to break Biggie's infinitely wise Fourth Crack Commandment: never get high on your own supply. furthermore, running a successful business is difficult, and doubly so if you not only have to worry about the difficulties of the market, but also about continuously staying one step ahead of Officer Friendly.

what is the moral of this story? basically, it's a terrible idea to stash tens of thousands of dollars worth of crack and cash in the communal shrubbery at your flat.

although, this may explain why The Knights Who Say Ni are so insistent that people bring them shrubberies.
faceless_wonder: posing with my blue hair, in an NYC subway station. (emo)
whenever a ticket comes into our support queue in the middle of the night, and the sender's name is a female name that i don't recognize as belonging to a customer who often sends tickets at such an hour, i always end up muttering to myself, "ugh, this is probably another spam email in our queue."

and, every single time, i'm right.

i don't know which of these two things is worse.
faceless_wonder: a bag of green crack (crack)
here at News Crack Smokers Can Use, we've suggested several times that it might not be a good idea for lawyers to smoke crack. competent legal work requires critical thinking, a sharp intellect, and an ability to put your job first in your life. all of these are capacities that crack smoking tends to hinder. if you enjoy law-talking, awesome. if you enjoy crack smoking, awesome. but, your life will be far less complicated if you choose at most one of those two pursuits.

imagine you're a prosecutor. if you aren't a crack smoker, you'd probably notice a pattern in the cases you've worked on, and the evidence you've used. you'd have picked up by now that the local departments of law and order are quite enamoured with finding and prosecuting local crackheads. when someone is identified as a crack dealer, the police like to keep tabs on them in the future, because it can not only lead them to further evidence against the dealer, but also in the general direction of crack smokers they can arrest.

what i'm trying to say is...if you prosecute high-profile drug cases, you should really know better than to smoke crack. and, even if you insist on smoking a little crack once in a while, it may be a good idea not to take your crack dealer for a ride in your Beemer.

otherwise, you may become the laughingstock of crack smokers and prosecutors alike. and, that's never a good thing.
faceless_wonder: posing with my blue hair, in an NYC subway station. (emo)
meme ganked from [livejournal.com profile] bluemarker...

i have a few questions for you... )
faceless_wonder: posing with my blue hair, in an NYC subway station. (emo)
dear crack smokers,

i love you, and am trying to be patient and cordial with you, but sometimes continuously providing the same common-sense piece of advice and seeing it go unheeded gets a little frustrating. i've made this particular point several times in here already.

this is the last time i will say this, so please pay attention:

just because it's called your crack does not make it a good place to hide your crack.

it's not as sneaky as your crack-addled brain has convinced you that it is. if you give the nice person in blue permission to search your person, he's going to look. if Officer Friendly sees you walking a little funny because you're a little uncomfortable around the cheeks, he's going to look. if you get booked into jail, you're going to get strip-searched, and the corrections officers are going to look.

i know they call it "where the sun don't shine", and that it's not a particularly appealing place for anyone to search, but unfortunately so many of your fellow crack smokers have been caught with their goods in or around their butts that the cops will always look. seriously, crack smokers, it's cliche.

please, for the sake of your own happy crack-smoking future, stop hiding your crack in your butt crack. it's best not to take your crack out of your residence at all, but if you do, it would behoove you to find a more clever place to stash it.

love,
the persecuted crack smoker

***

(hat tip to [personal profile] rob_t_firefly for the news article!)
faceless_wonder: posing with my blue hair, in an NYC subway station. (emo)
part of the reason that Iron Chef is such a fun show to watch is to see what kinds of interesting things the chefs do with the secret ingredients. sometimes the secret ingredient is something fairly common, such as egg, crab, cucumber, or curry powder. sometimes it's a little more esoteric: they've used things like oatmeal, coffee beans, eggnog, and ice sculptures. however, the there are two things that all Iron Chef secret ingredients have had in common: they're all edible, and they're all legal.

i'm sure you all know where this is going.

never has the secret ingredient in iron chef been cocaine powder, and never has an intrepid chef served the judging panel a steaming plate of crack rocks on national television.

some Cleveland-area entrepreneurs should have taken a hint from the show, and stuck to concocting creations based on a secret ingredient other than cocaine. seriously...if they're that gung-ho about cooking something and then selling their wares on the street, they could have devised some interesting food, set up a food truck business, and gotten into a whole lot less trouble than they did for their crack operation.
faceless_wonder: a stick figure girl with the word LOUD pointing to it. (loud)
i'm glad the Supreme Court ruled the way they did in the Westboro Baptist Church case.

there, i said it.

does that mean i approve of Westboro's message? no. i disagree entirely with their message of pure homophobia cloaked in religious garb.

does that mean i approve of Westboro's tactics? no. their tactics are obnoxious, and thoroughly inconsiderate to the decedents, and all of their families and friends who have come to mourn their deaths and celebrate their lives.

but, i can't get behind the people that say that the Supreme Court should have ruled against Westboro because it's disgusting that they're waving their "thank God for dead soldiers" signs at military funeral. those are two completely different issues.

am i saying that there shouldn't be any limits whatsoever to freedom of speech? no. there are fringe cases, like yelling "fire" in a crowded movie theatre, that are likely enough to lead directly to bodily harm that they shouldn't be constitutionally protected. but, i'm saying there really shouldn't be much more limit than that. as much as we don't like to face that fact, freedom of speech exists to protect our right to say things that people--even the vast majority of people--find incorrect, or even appalling.

this applies even more strongly when people are making commentary on issues of public concern. even though most of us think they are total wingnuts for celebrating the deaths of soldiers as a part of God's revenge for the country being too tolerant of homosexuality...the Supreme Court is right in assessing that this is a commentary on a matter of public concern. look at it this way...if it were anyone else talking about how tolerant or intolerant this country is of a particular group of its citizens is something that concerns the public. the fact that it's Westboro Baptist doesn't make them special: it neither gives them extra protection, nor gives them lowered protection to speak about issues of public concern.

the fact that they organize protests at funerals? that makes them asshats, to be sure. but, it doesn't make them immune from Constitutional protection for speaking their message in public. just as the Constitution protects you and the people you like, it also protects your worst enemy, and protects the people you can't stand.
faceless_wonder: posing with my blue hair, in an NYC subway station. (emo)
thank you, Rep. Moore, for speaking truth to the patronising, bullshit "argument" that Planned Parenthood is racist because they kill so many black babies.

faceless_wonder: posing with my blue hair, in an NYC subway station. (emo)
"this world may have failed you
it doesn't give you reason why
you could have chosen a different path in life"
"Angels"
by Within Temptation

...of course this song had to come on Pandora just after i recoiled at the thought of writing a poem about something i still don't quite feel up to writing about yet.

*squee*

Feb. 15th, 2011 08:25 am
faceless_wonder: a stick figure girl with the word LOUD pointing to it. (loud)
this has been a pretty good couple of days.

yesterday, i found out that i got one of the solos for my choir concert in March, and that i will also be in a small-ensemble piece! we have concerts on Saturday March 19 at 5pm and 8pm at Mayne Stage Theatre, by the Morse Red Line stop. i will be doing my solo at the 5pm show. the concert material is the same at 5pm and 8pm; only the soloists differ.

this morning, i found out that both the talk i proposed and the event i proposed for Notacon 8 were accepted!

my talk will be called "The Free Software Studio: Open-Source Tools for Musical Exploration and Composition". it will cover a wide range of free software music creation tools: what they are, how they work, and how to get them working together to realize your musical projects. whether you're just curious about how to get started in computer music, or you've been doing it for a while but want to add some things to your bag of tricks, it will be an interesting and helpful talk. it's about free software, but it's not Linux-specific at all--i will discuss tools that run on Linux, Mac, or Windows, so everyone can join in on the fun!

my event will be familiar if you came to Notacon last year: i'm hosting Whose Slide Is It Anyway again this year. :D if you're not familiar with it, it's a very silly game where i prepare twenty decks of five slides each. the slides, as a general rule, make very little sense. participants sign up to get in front of the crowd and give a short talk, with a Q and A at the end, based on one of the decks of slides. of course, they haven't seen these slides in their life. hilarity inevitably ensues.

i've got a busy and exciting few months ahead of me.
faceless_wonder: posing with my blue hair, in an NYC subway station. (Default)
we got some stuff at work that was packaged in some bubble wrap.

the angel on my shoulder says i should put the bubble wrap with all our other bubble wrap.

the devil on my shoulder wants me to pop, pop, pop every bubble on that sheet.

why is bubble wrap so awesome?
faceless_wonder: chicago flag (chicago)
...i don't think i've listened to this song since my second or third year of college. looking back on it, the lyrics are even stupider than i remember, but it's still a catchy song, and a lot of fun to listen to.

faceless_wonder: posing with my blue hair, in an NYC subway station. (emo)
this is by the same folks who brought you Llamas with Hats...and it's almost as deranged. i get the feeling Mittens and Carl would be good friends. ♥

faceless_wonder: chicago flag (chicago)
a quick and easy guide to staying warm in Chicago:

  1. read a bunch of articles and news reports that say the temperature is going to be -17 in the morning, and the wind chill -35.
  2. remember that the last time you were outside, and the wind chill was in the -30s, it felt like your entire face was going to freeze off within seconds--even under a scarf.
  3. spend the entire evening bracing to face that kind of cold again.
  4. step outside.
  5. wait a minute.
  6. notice that your face is not freezing off.
  7. bask in the tropical glow.
faceless_wonder: posing with my blue hair, in an NYC subway station. (emo)
a few weeks ago, i made a post with the lyrics to "Texas Hold 'Em" by No Particular Night...or Mourning, a song that i've known since 2003 or so, but haven't heard since 2006, when my last backup of the song died in a little accident involving my purse, my minidiscs, and a container of tasty, delicious (and unfortunately melted) Ted Drewes.

[livejournal.com profile] jenius08 saw this post on Livejournal and, unbeknownst to me, tossed out a question to see if anyone on Reddit had heard of the band or the song. a little while later, Alan, one of the members of the band, responded to the post! she got the two of us in touch, and he sent me not only that song, but all the music the band ever recorded.

:D :D :D

in short, i just wanted to say a big thanks to both of you. <3 you're awesome, and have both given me the chance to hear music i thought i'd never, ever hear again in any medium except for my own recollections.
faceless_wonder: a guy with a hat on his bum, with a circle around it and line through it. (asshat)
dumb: calling 911 once to ask for an escort.

dumber: calling 911 twice to ask for an escort.

even dumber: calling 911 three times to ask for an escort.

of course, "drugs or alcohol" were involved. the record is incomplete about which drugs...although if it wasn't crack, i'd be frightened to see the depths of stupid to which this guy would plunge if he were on crack.
faceless_wonder: posing with my blue hair, in an NYC subway station. (emo)
...in case you weren't able to make the CBA Chorus's performance of Daniel Pinkham's Christmas Cantata last month, it's on youtube. :) you can't really see me in the video because i'm in the back left corner, hidden behind certain architectural features of the church in which we were performing. however...it sounds good -- and wow, was this a fun piece to sing!

faceless_wonder: posing with my blue hair, in an NYC subway station. (emo)
the persecuted crack smoker,

to all citizens of McCracken County who consume or do commerce in crack cocaine, or are considering the same,

may i take the liberty of advising you that just because you reside in a land called McCracken County, it still may not be legal to sell crack out of the home you share with your family? it is rather unclear what you did to suggest to the constabulary that there may have been crack rocks in your humble abode, but it remains clear that your life's vocation should have been a somewhat less statutorily offensive endeavour if you desired to continue deriving pleasure from setting crack rocks aflame and inhaling their heady smoke.

*****

the persecuted crack smoker,

to all people considering a career in entertainment, which may run either consecutively to or concurrently with a career in crack cocaine peddling,

your most successful option is to cease all pursuits of your ambitions along the crack-dealing front. performing music onstage, be it mellifluous or cacophonous, will be far less likely to land you behind iron bars than anything requiring you to apprach near a crack rock. however, if you insist on acting as not only a performer but also a high-level operative in a crack cocaine commerce cabal, let me advise you that choosing a stage name such as Gambino may not be the wisest among decisions. performing under the moniker of a renowned syndicate of scofflaws will not deflect the attention of the authorities, but rather encourage them to investigate why you admire these "Gambino" racketeers so much as to adopt their name.
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