faceless_wonder: a bag of green crack (crack)
imagine you're the mayor of a major North American city. imagine that instead of unwinding by drinking a beer, going for a swim, or going out dancing with your friends, you liked to unwind with a little crack. quick, what would you do?


  1.  lay off the crackpipe for a few years while you're in office, and set aside that money for lots of wonderful, wonderful crack when you've left office.

  2. arrange for a trusted friend to be your crack mule, and hope they are loyal enough not to rat you out if they get caught for being bad at hiding your crack.

  3. buy crack from the most fashionable dealers you can, and appear in a video starring your very own crack-addled musings.


if you rolled your eyes and said that none of these options are good options at all, congratulations!  you're either way too smart to be a crack smoker, or way too smart to be a politician.



if you chose 1, you have far more restraint than most crack smokers.



if you chose 2, you realise it's a tough situation, but you also realise that running a major city is pretty difficult without a way to relax -- and, for you, that way is crack.



if you chose 3, congratulations.  you're in that elite group of crack smokers who is too stupid to take refuge here at the Last Refuge of the Persecuted Crack Smoker.



sure, sure. do i know for a fact that it's Rob Ford in that video? no. do i think it's likely him? yes. Rob Ford was already a complete laughingstock; i have enough acquaintances from the Greater Toronto Area to know that.  still, i'm holding out hope that the Crackstarter does its job, and the internet at large can satisfy its curiosity.

nothing.

Oct. 30th, 2012 01:08 am
faceless_wonder: posing with my blue hair, in an NYC subway station. (Default)
ugh, it makes me sad that i still have this...and haven't either cancelled it or clearly pushed onward.

but...what was keeping me on LJ this last year or two? games. and, Tribes (yes, the LJ game from [livejournal.com profile] games_lj) moved to facebook...which meant big brother moved to facebook, which meant the LJ Games community moved to facebook.

i know. i'm in the wrong here. i suck.

should i post here? yes, because crackheads are hilarious, and that should make me update this and blogger.

will i? i have no bloody clue.
faceless_wonder: a bag of green crack (crack)
dearest crack smokers,

i am aware that you are generally more focused on your crack smoking than you are on your fashion choices. however, you must at times exercise a bit of discretion when choosing your outfit for the day. for example, let us consider this jacket:



this jacket lays out, in friendly pictorial form, how to make your beloved crack. as such, it has probably made its way onto the fashion plates at all of the local crack houses. you probably either have one already, or envy some fellow crack smoker who has this hot, new winter style. it is a lot of fun to wear when you are smoking crack in the privacy of your own home, or possibly even the privacy of your friend's crack den, depending on how much you actually trust them.

however, when you have been haled into court for drug trafficking, we may suggest a slightly more conservative fashion choice. a suit is best, although if you do not own a suit, try wearing to court any kind of clothing that does not reference crack. keep in mind that even though you are guaranteed a jury of your peers, the law defines "peers" as a group with slightly broader scope than "fellow crack smokers". there is a high chance that most (if not all) members of a jury will frown upon a jacket that demonstrates how to cook crack, especially because your fellow crack smokers are likely to be too busy smoking crack to show up for jury duty.

for this fashion faux pas, our as-yet-anonymous drug trafficking defendant must join the roster of crack smokers too stupid to take refuge at the last refuge of the persecuted crack smoker. please, dear readers, if you must ever go to court, please put your crackpipe down long enough to choose an outfit that does not immediately single you out as a crack aficionado. this will increase your chances of going home afterwards to smoke your crack in peace.

love,
the persecuted crack smoker
faceless_wonder: posing with my blue hair, in an NYC subway station. (emo)
over the last two months or so, since they started, i've been doing a lot of thinking about the Occupy protests, but very little talking about the phenomenon. i still can't say i have a coherent or fully fleshed-out opinion or narrative about them, but these are the ideas that keep reoccurring in my mind most often.

i'm annoyed about income and wealth inequality, but i know it's a fact of life. yeah, it sucks that there are a few people with absurd amounts of money, whereas i'm going to have a subzero net worth for the rest of my life. it's a warm and fuzzy fantasy to imagine a world without a huge gulf in wealth, but i don't think there's anything that can actually be done about it. i blame human nature. people are greedy bastards at heart, and the vast majority of people can't meaningfully fight that. this is the crux of why i don't think Occupy, or any similar phenomenon, is going to change a thing. if "everyone else" wrestled the wealth away from Joe, Bob, and Jen...it would eventually fall into the hands of Rick, Sue, and Ann: the people with the best combination of acumen for gaming whatever system has been put into place, and pure dumb luck. it's something we're stuck with, and something i have to live with while trying to carve out whatever little corner i can in which to live.

i get really emotional and angry whenever anyone tries to talk to me about Occupy, because the protests rub a really sore spot about my own past. it reminds me of the time that i was naive and misguided enough to think that such things would make any improvement in society. my first year of college, i would have been right out there, waving a sign and screaming at the corner of Jackson and LaSalle. i was a protestor, a college activist, a sign-waver. i saw things in society that pissed me off, was naive in thinking that hanging out in public and trying to notify passers-by about all these outrageous things going on would get them to care, and even more naive in thinking that there could be some kind of fix. not that i was actually doing anything about a fix...even though i believed in some abstract sense that problems of insufficient wages or insufficient health care or terrible working conditions or an insufficient social safety net could actually be fixed. i had no idea how to implement anything i wanted to see, and as best as i can tell eleven jaded years later, i can only imagine that i envisioned a day when enough people's eyes would be opened to what was going on, some switch would flip, and government would start passing laws that gave anyone a chance to live comfortably no matter their current socioeconomic status. that's the same outlook i get the feeling most of the Occupiers have...that they are part of a movement, and their movement will eventually garner enough support that Society Will Improve.

i'm pretty sure the reasons why Occupy really frustrates me are very similar to the reasons why anything political really frustrates me. maybe i'm the problem, and it's wrong that i've completely given up on the idea of meaningful economic change. as much as i wish we could, though, i don't see any kind of way to meaningfully legislate around or structure a government to circumvent the fact that we inevitably want to grab whatever we can for ourselves. we're screwed, in this way, and it's a far better use of my time and energy to try and build whatever little life i can for myself in the midst of this than it is to focus on my anger over a suboptimal situation that i cannot change.
faceless_wonder: posing with my blue hair, in an NYC subway station. (Default)
so, i looked in the mirror a few minutes ago, around 7:30am.

there were Security Justice stickers on my shirt, right over my boobs.

i turned around, and sure enough, there was a Secure State sticker on the bottom of my shirt, right across my bum, that said "When was the last time you were penetrated?"

i put this shirt on at 4:30am.

i got to work at 5:45am.

i had looked in a mirror at least three times before 7:30am -- and this was the first time i had noticed that various salacious locations on my body were covered in stickers.

this is why i am not designed to get up at four o'clock in the morning.
faceless_wonder: bisexual pride flag (bi)
over the last week or so, i've been watching absurd amounts of RuPaul's Drag Race. *ABSURD* amounts of it. i've already blown through Season 3, and i've started watching Season 1. if you haven't watched it...go over to logotv.com and watch it, since all three season stream for free in their entirety. it's compelling, it's entertaining...

...but it's not really what this blog entry is about. this blog entry is more about the gender-related thoughts that have popped into my head while watching it.

i've never actually done real drag performance before. the extent of my drag experience is going to a few drag dances over the years. every time i've gone to any kind of drag dance, i've dressed as a drag king: bound my boobs down with an ace bandage (or ten), used some makeup to put a five o'clock shadow on my face, and gone out that way. problem is, except for the makeup and the boob-binding, there really wasn't any difference at all between nicky (who i am day to day) and larry (the drag king persona i was trying to be). i didn't feel like i was playing a character. i felt like myself, albeit with a few cosmetic additions to accentuate the masculine. i wore the same kinds of clothes day in and day out, and didn't feel the need to change much of anything about how i presented myself, since i tend to present myself in a rather butch fashion as a matter of course. that's just who i am.

compare that to how i feel if i'm going to a formal dance. i'm not explicitly trying to create a character, but i feel like something different than what i am day in and day out. the protocol of the event demands that i be something formal and feminine, so i'm costuming myself in a manner that's nothing like my usual, daily wear. i'm wearing a dress, heels, makeup. such trappings worm their way into my brain, and i subconsciously start to act in a way that's far more prim, proper, and feminine than the way i act day in and day out. i'm not myself--and that's fun, for a night here and there.

this is the kind of thing that watching RuPaul's Drag Race makes me want to do. it makes me want to bend my gender. it makes me want to put on a long-haired wig, makeup, a dress, and maybe even some heels -- go out, and be something that is nothing like who i am every day. it makes me want to do a supercharged version of what i do if i'm preparing for a formal dance or event. it makes me want to play around with formulating and portraying a character with a completely different gender expression than the person i am day in and day out.

and, yet, i feel a little weird about the fact that this makes me want to try being a drag *queen*. it isn't all that logical, since drag is supposed to be about finding a way to creatively portray a gender you aren't day in and day out -- and being a drag queen would do that for me in a way that being a drag king never could. even though, to me, being a feminine "queen" is a lot more of a transformation from my day-to-day existence than being a masculine "king", i still have this little voice in my head that tells me that it would be somehow belittling to male-bodied drag queens to go out as a female-bodied drag queen.

do i have any resolution to this? not really. these are just ideas that have been bouncing in my head for a long time, and have been bouncing closer to the forefront now that i've been watching many hours of Drag Race on TV. maybe i'll make a bit more sense of them in the future, maybe not. but, this is where my brain has been hanging out lately.
faceless_wonder: posing with my blue hair, in an NYC subway station. (emo)
my paid livejournal account runs out on Friday, and i'm not renewing it this year.

i've had a paid account for the last three years...i know, i know, i was late to the paid livejournal account party. the fact that i wanted to be far more of a usericon whore got the best of me, and i upgraded. it was cool, but i don't think i want to keep paying them for that privilege -- especially when it's getting DoSed as often as it is, and when i'm getting as many spam comments as i've gotten over the last four to six months. i'm not paying for that kind of experience anymore.

...and, if i want to keep being a usericon whore, i'll upgrade to a paid membership to dreamwidth.

i've been copying all my entries there for about a year, and i like it. the communities there aren't as vibrant as certain ones (most specifically, the gaming communities and <user name=cf_hardcore site=livejournal.com) still are on livejournal, but i can still get full access to that content i want on livejournal without a paid account. the point is, if i'm going to contribute money to a site, i want it to be a site i can reliably reach, and a site where i'm not getting spammed all the time.
faceless_wonder: bisexual pride flag (bi)
sometimes i know i'm going to get angry if i click the link to a news article...then i click the link, and then i get angry.

a large local church, Willow Creek, has been getting some publicity lately after the CEO of Starbucks cancelled an appearance there, due to pressure. people were pressuring him not to show up there because of what they said was the church's anti-gay stance. he finally decided not to show up. the article quoted the head pastor, Rev. Bill Hybels, as saying the following as part of his argument that the church is not anti-gay, or "not anti-anybody":

"We challenge homosexuals and heterosexuals to live out the sexual ethics taught in Scriptures, which encourage sexual expression between a man and a woman in the context of marriage,” said Hybels, senior pastor of Willow Creek. He added that the Bible prescribes “sexual abstinence and purity for everyone else."

thanks for undermining your own argument. that's an anti-gay outlook...not to mention, an anti-several-other-kinds-of-anybodies outlook.

in saying that your church only encourages sexual expression between a man and a woman in the context of marriage, you are saying that consenting adults of the same sex should not sexually express themselves. you are saying that consenting adults who choose not to marry for whatever reason should not sexually express themselves. you are saying that consenting adults who choose not to be in a committed relationship should not sexually express themselves. you are saying that consenting adults who choose to be in a committed relationship that involves more than just one man and one woman should not sexually express themselves.

is that illegal? no. the members of your church have a right to believe, and live out, your chosen sexual ethics. there's nothing i can do to stop you from believing that your way is the right way to live out your sex life.

however, there is also nothing you can do to convince me, or many others who disagree with part or all of your outlook on sexual ethics, that your way is the right way to go. do you have a right to speak publicly about it, or to try and convince others that it's the right way to live? of course! but, freedom to speak does not mean freedom from any consequences of your speech. after your church so publicly casts aspersions upon the legitimacy of how queer people, unmarried people, and nonmonogamous people choose to conduct their sex lives...don't expect sympathy when your church loses publicity, or gains bad publicity, as a result.
faceless_wonder: posing with my blue hair, in an NYC subway station. (emo)
"Diminish Me" by Imperative Reaction recently started popping up on my Pandora station.

given that the song is nine years old, i am wondering why Pandora (OR ANY OTHER RADIO STATION ANYWHERE, EVER) didn't play it for me sooner. it's gorgeous.

i just wish there were a youtube video of it that didn't have talking at the beginning. i'm probably going to end up buying it off of Amazon, so i can put it on my iPod. seriously, it's the best new-to-me song i've heard in a while.
faceless_wonder: a stick figure girl with the word LOUD pointing to it. (loud)
the next time i see anyone on the internet whining about where the justice is for Caylee Anthony, i'm going to scream.

we have a procedure in place for meting out justice.

it involves the defendant being considered, under the law, as innocent until proven guilty.

it involves the state having an attorney to fight zealously for it.

it involves the accused having an attorney to fight zealously for him or her.

it involves twelve members of the community deciding whether the state proved its case against the accused beyond a reasonable doubt.

nothing in the law says that this is any different because the victim was a toddler, or any of a million other generally sympathetic things. nothing in the law says that this is any different if the accused is a party girl, or a million other generally frowned-upon stereotypes.

Casey Anthony was innocent until proven guilty. the prosecutor busted his ass for the state. her lawyer busted her ass for her.

and, in the end, twelve of her peers found that the state did not prove its case beyond a reasonable doubt.

it's awful that such a young kid lost her life, before she really got the chance to live it. however, if the jury didn't believe that the state proved its case beyond a reasonable doubt, it would not have been justice for anyone for them to lie and say the case was proven to such a standard, just to give the public what it wanted to see, or just to give some measure of explanation for a tragedy.

but, justice doesn't mean finding expedient closure in the wake of a premature death or other unfortunate event. justice means making sure that both the accused and the state have their day in court, and letting the jury thoughtfully weigh the facts against the burden of proof.

justice isn't a question of whether we could bring Caylee Anthony back from the dead, or make the people who loved her or felt sympathy for her feel better in the wake of her death. the question wasn't justice for Caylee Anthony at all. the question centered around justice for Casey Anthony...whether the case against her was strong enough in the eyes of her peers to support conviction. the jury was not convinced beyond a reasonable doubt -- and, in that case, justice was done by not convicting her.

DEFCON!

Jun. 24th, 2011 08:19 pm
faceless_wonder: a stick figure girl with the word LOUD pointing to it. (loud)
just over a month until Defcon...and i finally booked my travel!

i get in really late on Tuesday night, and leave late on Sunday night. this is awesome, since i can hit all of B-Sides and all of Defcon.

(i'm also flying out late enough to be able to make it to musical theatre class on Tuesday night before i leave...yay!)

i'm not staying at the Rio, because quite frankly, it's REALLY FUCKING EXPENSIVE. i can't justify staying at the con hotel if the one right next door is, on average, almost $100 less PER NIGHT than the Rio is...especially since it's not like i spend much time in my hotel room anyway when i go to cons.

anyway, i just feel a huge weight off my shoulders now that i've gotten all my Defcon ducks in a row.

now...T minus 39 days until i'm on my way! <3 <3 <3
faceless_wonder: posing with my blue hair, in an NYC subway station. (emo)
...if i were to compile a mix tape to tell the story of my past, i'm pretty sure this would be on there.

faceless_wonder: a stick figure girl with the word LOUD pointing to it. (loud)
i've been awful...i've not only been posting infrequently, but i've really not even been reading anyone's blogs lately.

my personal computer time has been cut way short over the last two months or so. in mid-April, i was caught in the middle of a rainstorm, and my computer (six years old, poor guy), got wet through my bag. it still booted, but the hard drive was fried. so, i've been booting it from a liveCD since then. it was getting to the point, however, that it wasn't even doing that properly...it would take three times to even boot right from that anymore, and then just sometimes decide to freeze. basically, my poor little guy had become unusable.

it did have a good run. i bought it in August of 2005, and it had been doing its duty ever since, despite the fact that i had been beating the stuffing out of it. the spacebar had been superglued on since 2007, the V key was only working one out of every two or three times you hit it, and the case was getting all cracked, but i love that thing. it's also covered with excellent stickers.

however, it was not doing its job very well anymore. as a result, my only time on a reliable computer was while i was at work...and i've been doing almost no personal internet stuff from work, especially since my new responsibilities and my new (happy shiny nine-to-five) hours have been keeping me so busy from the time i show up to the office to the time that i leave.

however, this has been fixed. i now haz a bukkit...a new bukkit. and, yes, i did name the new lappy "bukkit", same as the old one. as weird as it is to call my new laptop the same as the old one, it would have felt even weirder for my primary laptop not to be called bukkit, especially since the old one is pretty well nonfunctional.

...and i really need some awesome hacker stickers for this new bukkit. stat.
faceless_wonder: chicago flag (chicago)
i spent this past weekend doing the University of Chicago Scavenger Hunt. it's one of my favourite times of the year...four days of madness, insanity, and abject absurdity. i come back to campus every year to compete with GASH, the Graduate/Alumni Scav Hunt team, and i always love seeing old scavvies again, meeting new ones, and doing ridiculous items together.

this year i did mostly writing and song-writing items. i did a lot of items i thought were fun (many of which i may post here over the next few days or weeks, since i wrote some pretty cool stuff...), but my favourite by far was item #21:

Augustus Scavvie was a little boy
Who thought that everything was a toy:
Glue guns, glitter, hammers, and nails,
Dry ice sitting in big white pails.

When Scav Hunt came, he saw the List
And after reading, got the gist
Of items involving dare and spunk,
Of items made of nought but junk.

He decided he should try his hand
And join one of the merry bands,
But there it was the dreadful Fate
Befell him, which you'll now relate...

Today it is your job, my friend
To spin a yarn from start to end.
Now, Belloc's poems were cruel and torrid--
Weave a Scav poem just as horrid. [4 points]


that's right...the item on the list was written in verse. the key was in the last two lines: this item alluded to Hillaire Belloc's Cautionary Tales for Children, a book of verses about children who either die horrible deaths because they disobeyed their parents and caretakers, or led their friends or family to horrible deaths because they disobeyed such authority.

of course, this is a perfect suggestion for an absurd scav-related poem. this is what i wrote:

*****

Augustus Scavvie, who attempted Scav Hunt at a too-tender age, and unfortunately lost his head while working on a showcase item alone.

Augustus Scavvie seemed quite alright.
He knew he had a future bright.
In his name lied his destiny:
To hunt the Scav at U of C.
His first decade he obeyed rules:
He kept his play to plastic tools
And wooden blocks that he would use
To craft the most elaborate views
Of anything he thought would build
His nascent Larger Projects skills.

But when li'l Scavvie got to ten,
He thought that he could run with men.
He begged his mom and dad to please
Let him attend the List Release.
They turned him down, but he did fight
Then disappeared in dead of night
By waiting 'til his mom dropped guard
Then borrowing her transit card.
By midnight's hour the naughty boy
Had found his way to Ida Noyes.

He tried to find a team who'd roll
Such a young boy into their fold.
They all told him to head on home.
He would not go. He must still roam.
Augustus had not reached his dream,
For he had not yet found a team.
The stubborn boy did keep his spark,
He kept on wandering Hyde Park
Until he spotted as he walked:
A team with its HQ unlocked.

The only scavvies in his sight
Were sleeping, so the time was right.
Augustus tiptoed in to find
A wooden frame seven feet high.
A metal sheet with sharpened edge
Hung from the top, upon a ledge,
And to the blade a rope was tied,
Then pulled around, and down the side.

Augustus planned his scav debut
But knew not what the thing could do.
He walked around to take a look
And still its purpose hadn't took.
Too excited to desist,
But too impatient to read a list:
He thought to leave mark with his name
By hammering nails into the frame.
He missed a nail by just a shade
And bumped the rope that hung the blade.

There was an issue unforeseen:
The project was a guillotine.
Soon as young Scavvie touched the rope
The blade fell down; there was no hope.

The other scavvies in the room
Awoke to a scene of extant gloom.
The showcase zone now had a flood
Of Augustus Scavvie's drying blood.
His head gazed out with plaintive eyes
Too late to stop his sad demise.

The funeral fell on a sunny day
During the second week of May.
His mother and his father came,
His aunts and uncles cried his name.
The pastor's eulogy began
With happy tales of the poor young man.
But slowly it became a screed,
A warning dire for all to heed:
Wait 'til eighteen years you have
Before you Hunt the Mighty Scav.
faceless_wonder: a stick figure girl with the word LOUD pointing to it. (loud)
...in honour of the new ubuntu release today:



my, what natty narwhals.
faceless_wonder: posing with my blue hair, in an NYC subway station. (emo)
"all these things i hate (revolve around me)"
by bullet for my valentine

once more i'll say goodbye to you
things happen but we don't really know why
if it's supposed to be like this
why do most of us ignore the chance to miss
oh yeah

torn apart at the seams of my dreams turn to tears
i'm not feeling the situation
run away try to find that safe place you can hide
it's the best place to be when you're feeling like

me...me...
yeah...yeah...
all these things i hate revolve around me...me...
yeah...yeah...
just back off before i snap

once more you tell those lies to me
why can't you just be straight up with honesty
when you say those things in my ear
why do you always tell me what you wanna hear
oh yeah

wear your heart on your sleeve make things hard to believe
i'm not feeling the situation
run away try to find that safe place you can hide
it's the best place to be when you're feeling like

me...me...
yeah...yeah...
all these things i hate revolve around me...me...
yeah...yeah...
just back off before i snap and you'll see
me...me...
all these things i hate revolve around me...me...
yeah...yeah...
just back off before i snap

torn apart at the seams of my dreams turn to tears
i'm not feeling the situation
run away try to find that safe place you can hide
it's the best place to be when you're feeling like me
it's the best place to be when you're

me...me...
yeah...yeah...
all these things i hate revolve around me...me...
yeah...yeah...
just back off before i snap and you'll see me
me...me...
all these things i hate revolve around me...me...
yeah...yeah...
just back off before i snap
faceless_wonder: posing with my blue hair, in an NYC subway station. (emo)
"all these things i hate (revolve around me)"
by bullet for my valentine

once more i'll say goodbye to you
things happen but we don't really know why
if it's supposed to be like this
why do most of us ignore the chance to miss
oh yeah

torn apart at the seams of my dreams turn to tears
i'm not feeling the situation
run away try to find that safe place you can hide
it's the best place to be when you're feeling like

me...me...
yeah...yeah...
all these things I hate revolve around me...me...
yeah...yeah...
just back off before i snap

once more you tell those lies to me
why can't you just be straight up with honesty
when you say those things in my ear
why do you always tell me what you wanna hear
oh yeah

wear your heart on your sleeve make things hard to believe
i'm not feeling the situation
run away try to find that safe place you can hide
it's the best place to be when you're feeling like

me...me...
yeah...yeah...
all these things I hate revolve around me...me...
yeah...yeah...
just back off before I snap and you'll see
me...me...
all these things I hate revolve around me...me...
yeah...yeah...
just back off before i snap

torn apart at the seams of my dreams turn to tears
i'm not feeling the situation
run away try to find that safe place you can hide
it's the best place to be when you're feeling like me
it's the best place to be when you're

me...me...
yeah...yeah...
all these things i hate revolve around me...me...
yeah...yeah...
just back off before i snap and you'll see me
me...me...
all these things i hate revolve around me...me...
yeah...yeah...
just back off before i snap
faceless_wonder: posing with my blue hair, in an NYC subway station. (emo)
i have seen the pinnacle of email spam. nothing i can say can make this spam more perfect, so just keep reading:

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and, the links? they go to some Ukrainian news site.

very punny.

Apr. 7th, 2011 10:34 pm
faceless_wonder: a stick figure girl with the word LOUD pointing to it. (loud)
it's the return of the sea anemone enemy!



i <33333 Pearls before Swine.
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